I’ve been taking a look at some interesting dead languages recently. You know, like Latin, Ancient Egyptian, Sanskrit, Comic Sans and Cursive. Ah, cursive. I was actually fluent in that one at one time. My kids still ask me why we ever had it. Anytime they ask, I get a little defensive and act all hoity-toity and superior, but I only do it to distract them from the fact that I don’t actually have a real answer. It’s fascinating to me that while some languages languish, new ones … [Read more...]
Between some math and a stuck place
When I was in junior high, anytime I felt like I needed a good cry, I’d just ask my dad to help me with my math. I’d like to say something about the “sums of the fathers” right here, but any way you pun it, it was actually all me. Even in high school, I remember going up to my algebra teacher’s desk saying, “Mr. Showalter, I’m stuck on number 5.” At which point he would do the problem for me with a smile. Mind you, I was also stuck on numbers one through four, but I didn’t want to … [Read more...]
A mansion over the grill-top
I don’t believe it’s true, but someone once told me that a house perpetually and perfectly well-kept is a sign of an “uninteresting” life. Again, not true. But for people who believe it, I might be one of the most fascinating people they’ll ever meet. Sometimes, to get inspired to get my house in order, I look up cleaning and organizing tips on Pinterest. Next thing I know, I’m thinking about D-I-Y-ing something amazing. It has nothing whatsoever to do with cleaning my house, but still. … [Read more...]
Love: off the shelf, by the book
My favorite part of dusting the bookshelves in my office is the part where I never really do it. At all. And actually, it’s my personal belief that if there’s dust on a bookshelf, that means there aren’t enough books on it. Incidentally, I’m always on the lookout for more books. And for more reasons to buy more books. Okay yes, I may have a bit of a book problem. Some may think me “shelf-ish” (I know, I can’t believe I said it either). I think I’d rather call it a dust problem, but … [Read more...]
Truth deletes fear every time
Password anxiety. I’m pretty sure that’s a thing. You’re compelled to choose seven characters, un-guessable, throw in some capital letters, add the name of a dead pet, sprinkle in a few lower-case letters, include some numeric representation, and, on the whole, the password should eventually grow and evolve into an even better password. Essentially, it should ultimately be able to beat up all the other passwords—make them run crying from the yard. Anytime I have to choose a new password, … [Read more...]
The Lord gives grace to ‘dye’ for
I doubt it’s any surprise that I’ve never been known for being low maintenance. Recently, though, I did at least shoot for being a little less of a budget drain. Like maybe a bit more “DIY” in a few areas. I confess, “do-it-yourself” is rather out of my wheelhouse. I’m a lot more comfortable as a “do-it-for-me” kind of gal. But I was willing to try. I decided to focus on the hair budget. No, not giving up the color. I’d dye first (pa-dum-ching). I don’t think I’ll ever be so low … [Read more...]
Living between the times
Someone once told me that all crazy women have super-thin eyebrows. I don’t see how I could even begin to argue with that logic. So I pencil. And I pencil strong. I feel I have a lot to prove. That’s one reason doing makeup in the car is such risky business. One hard stop and a gal could end up with a seriously high eyebrow. No one could ever be as astonished as that kind of brow implies. And please excuse me if the humor here is a bit…ah…highbrow. The other day, even full-well … [Read more...]
For want of a better word
Some people seem to have a way with words. Words, sentences, paragraphs—they all just flow out of those people, all polished and pretty. The fact that I don’t despise those people is a testament to how truly spiritual I am. (If you’re not rolling your eyes right here, then you’re obviously even more spiritual than I am. Impressive.) Most of the time my words have to be coaxed, wheedled and prodded. My muse cops an attitude and is all like, “Not today, suckah.” Then when I finally do get … [Read more...]
YOLO? Well, yes and no
Not that I’m big on throwing my time away, because I had plans for accomplishing something great today. But you have to understand, that video said I wouldn’t BELIEVE what happened next. “BELIEVE”—it was in all caps just like that. It’s not like I had a choice anyway, but I could see that this video had a baby in it. And a puppy. Only a monster could just scroll down like it wasn’t a baby and a puppy. There may have been a few other things I squeezed onto the day’s itinerary that didn’t … [Read more...]
The tool of drool & thirsting well
No kidding, I had this very conversation with my daughter the other day: Kaley: Know what I found just now on Pinterest? Peanut butter cup gooey butter cake. Me: I just gained three pounds hearing you speak those words. Kaley: I just lost three pounds in drool. After I thought about it—well, after I laughed, and then after I thought about it—I decided she might actually have something there. The next diet craze? How about “Slobber Yourself Thin!” I don’t know why that shouldn’t work … [Read more...]
More faith, less fluff
I accidentally put one of my favorite “lay flat to dry” sweaters in the dryer. Somewhere in the last fluff cycle, somebody must’ve slipped in and traded it for some kind of little teddy bear sweater. What am I supposed to do with this? I guess now I have to buy a little teddy bear. Relatedly, I’ve heard the same thing happens with invisibility cloaks. People don’t tell you not to machine dry those things. Or maybe it’s on the label. But reading an invisible label? Not easy. And you still … [Read more...]
What really counts?
People get pretty caught up in the thread count of their sheets these days. I still say the crumb count is a lot bigger deal. Not that I’m one to snack in bed much, mind you. Mostly because I’m not a big fan of sheets that double as an exfoliator. But just so you know I’m not going to be legalistic on the topic, everything changes in the family room. My sofa? Let the exfoliation begin. I don’t even know what kind of crumbs are stuffed between the couch cushions. I’m pretty sure, though, … [Read more...]
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- …
- 17
- Next Page »