BRIDGETON – It was a cold day in February when Rae picked up Anna from the psychiatric hospital, but Anna shook her head no when Rae offered her a jacket. With short sleeves that showed off all the scars on her arms, Anna was a little too open, too exposed as she slouched into the passenger seat and twisted the cap off the water bottle Rae handed her.
It was a long drive to the MBCH residential facility where Rae, a Family Foster Care Specialist, was assigned to transport Anna. Small talk quickly snowballed into Anna’s life story; she had no reservations telling a complete stranger exactly how her mom’s boyfriend had assaulted her when she was just a kid. The worst part, Anna explained, was that her mom didn’t believe her. “She was supposed to keep me safe,” Anna said, her voice hard with bitterness, “but she chose him over me.”
It was clear that although Anna blamed her mom for all the years of turbulence she had endured, she was still longing for her mom’s acceptance. Now everywhere she went, she both begged for love and pushed away anyone who tried to give it to her. Alone in the cage of her memories, Anna needed everyone—and trusted no one.
Before long, Rae was driving Anna from the residential facility to a new foster home. Rae had already briefed Anna’s foster parents, Kyle and Lydia, on Anna’s history and how the trauma she’d endured had affected her. With the support and coaching of MBCH Foster Family Care, Kyle and Lydia chose careful communication techniques that provided the structure and safety Anna needed to start building healthier relationships than she’d known before.
Bad days still seemed to outnumber the good, but Kyle and Lydia patiently trusted that God would walk alongside them as they navigated the twists and turns of healing. Telling Anna that they loved her was easy, because they did. Kyle and Lydia knew that helping Anna feel that love also required putting in the work to support her through her emotions, doubts, and questions. Whenever Anna disappeared into distance, they waited for her, staying by her side without pushing too much so she’d know it was safe to come back out when she was ready. Kyle and Lydia wanted Anna to be part of their family forever, but they knew this was a decision Anna needed to make for herself.
It’s a bright day in April. Now Rae is the one to roll up her sleeves and roll down the windows as she flips through radio stations on her way to visit Anna, Kyle, and Lydia. Summer isn’t here yet, but it will be soon, and when it comes, Anna will be legally adopted into the family where she’s known she belonged for a long time now. Kyle and Lydia chose Anna, and the warmth of their acceptance spills out of her smile as she throws open the front door and welcomes Rae into her home.