A peace lily sitting near a large window in my family’s living room surprised us this winter by sending up not only one or two, but six new, pure white blooms. It’s a beautiful plant, which we received a couple of years ago after a family member’s funeral and graveside service.
This peace lily is quite meaningful for us, a daily reminder of a beloved family member who has gone ahead of us to heaven. But it’s even more meaningful because it was a gift from some friends who – as far as we knew – didn’t know the time or location of the funeral. Without saying a word, and asking nothing in return, these friends had taken initiative to hunt down this information and send these flowers as a memorial gift. Few things in life have made me more grateful for God’s gift of friendship.
During the last few years of his life, former Pathway editor Don Hinkle often shared with me how much he appreciated his friends. He encouraged me to cultivate friendship with as many people as possible. I’m grateful for his wise counsel.
With every passing year, I become more convinced about some truths on frienship expressed by the ancient Roman statesman and philosopher, Cicero: “Friendship,” he wrote, “improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” And again: “Without friendship life is no life at all.”
As exemplified by these sayings from Cicero, friendship has been the focus of sages and storytellers through the ages. Consider these few examples:
• The Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote, “Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.”
• “Little friends may prove great friends,” Aesop quipped, summarizing the moral to his fable of the “Lion and the Mouse.”
• George Washington advised, “True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
• “The better part of one’s life,” Abraham Lincoln said, “consists of his friendships.”
• C.S. Lewis wrote, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
• Finally Shel Silverstein opined: “How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ‘em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ‘em.”
Additionally, some the of the best books on the market depict the value of true friendship – to name only a few, E.B. White’s Charlotte’s Web, Kenneth Grahame’s The Wind in the Willows and J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings.
And, of course, Scripture itself has much to say about friendship. In the Old Testament, Proverbs says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov 18:24 ESV). Later, it adds, “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Prov 27:9 ESV). In 1 Samuel 18, moreover, we see loyal and sacrificial friendship on display for us in the faithful companionship of David and Jonathan.
Most importantly, Christ Jesus Himself has honored us with His friendship. As one hymn writer has declared, “What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!”
In John 15:12-16 (NKJV), Jesus told His disciples, “… [L]ove one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you ….”
In these few sentences, Jesus showed us the extent of His love for us since he indeed chose us to be His friends and, ultimately, since He laid down his life for us. Likewise, in the same few sentences, He teaches us to love and lay down our lives for our friends.
It’s been said truly that “the best mirror is an old friend.” I’ve been most humbled and blessed, however, when my friends reflect not my own image, but when they reflect Christ’s image of loving and sacrificial friendship – not only in their kindness toward me, but also toward others. Often, such a display of undeserved kindness comes without fanfare. Instead, such an act comes in a simple, quiet, yet beautiful, guise – like the gift of peace lilies that have graced my home for the past two years.