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Aiding those suffering post-abortion pain

September 5, 2013 By Kayla Rinker

Ministry helps some find God’s forgiveness

GRAIN VALLEY – Her hands shook and her eyes filled with tears as she spoke about the loss she had felt since she had the abortion. Her husband, standing behind her, agreed to attend the If Not For Grace Reconciliation Weekend because she asked him to. He hoped the event might help her finally release the pain and guilt that she had held onto for so many years.

They were young and unmarried then. They shouldn’t have done it.

If these women continue to stay in bondage as a result of their shame, they will infect the church with their underlying pain.

But as his wife continued to express her deep-seated grief, something stirred inside of him. He lost a child that day, too. With every word she spoke his heart broke more, and the tears began to flow. God pierced his heart with what happened that day and the void that was left behind.

Though his tears refused to stop, he suddenly felt something new start to creep into his heart— reconciliation. God took the void and began filling it with grace, comfort and peace. God would heal his wife, himself and their marriage. God would somehow bring beauty from pain.

“Through our Reconciliation Weekends we give post-abortive women, men and family members the opportunity to honor their child with an actual memorial service and bring the emotions that had been pushed deep inside to the surface,” said Lori Driggs, founder and executive director of If Not For Grace (INFG) Ministries.

Whether through its retreats, its peer-facilitated classes or other aftercare services, INFG’s ultimate goal is to provide opportunities for restoration by leading those struggling with the pain of abortion to a place of forgiveness.

“The curriculum we use compares a woman choosing abortion to an animal that tries to gnaw off its leg to get out of a trap,” said Driggs, a member of Abundant Life Baptist Church, Lee’s Summit. “The very act that is meant to produce instant relief from feeling overwhelmed and ensnared instead brings agony that doesn’t go away with time, but instead lingers on until the individual gives themself permission to be forgiven. It’s a process that doesn’t happen quickly for anyone dealing with the grief of choosing abortion.”

And no one understands that healing process better than Driggs. She said God is using her personal abortion experience to help others who are dealing with the same shame and remorse that she knows all too well.

“Ultimately, God is a God of restoration,” she said. “This theme is apparent throughout the Bible and abortion is not excluded. I believe God is using my experience and my personality and tenacity to restore his hurting people for his glory. The more we speak out, the more women, men and families come forward and experience restoration.”

And Driggs encourages pastors and church leaders to do the same. She said her pastor, Phil Hopper, endorses INFG and has been instrumental in speaking on the topic of abortion and leading many individuals to receive healing. Abortion has become such a hot button political and moral issue within the walls of the church that leaders are forgetting that members of their own congregations might be struggling with post-abortive pain and isolation.

“Women need to know that the church supports them and instead of condemning them like the adulterous woman in the Bible (John 8:1-11), the church needs to educate them in truth and grace,” she said. “If these women continue to stay in bondage as a result of their shame, they will infect the church with their underlying pain.”

For more information about If Not For Grace ministries and its upcoming events and programs visit their website at www.infg.org, e-mail them at info@infg.org, call them at (816) 847-2911 or find them on Facebook.

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