Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
In this world of rushing here and there, it is easy to forget that children have problems just as we adults do. Yes, they may be somewhat different from ours, but it is still hard for them to sort out what is expected of them in different environments. Many children live in homes that have been divided and at one place one thing is expected, but something different may be expected at another place. At school, the teacher may have one set of rules that are different from what is expected at home.
Adults have many frustrations as well. It is too easy to take out those frustrations on children because they can’t fight back. Many parents yell at their children, not remembering that those children have problems, too.
How can we handle this so that the children are not constantly feeling “beaten down”? One way is to take some deep breaths, sit down with the children, and ask how their day went. This would probably help calm both the parent and the child. Discussion could be had as to how various circumstances could have been better handled. After this, if handled calmly, probably both parent and child will feel better. It also provides a time for the parent to find out the things that are going on in the child’s life.
Quite often, parents are unaware of what the teacher (or teachers) are telling the students. As the parent and child talk, the parent becomes informed as to what the children are being taught. It provides a time for the parent to deal with things that the child may have been told wrong or misunderstood. Sitting down to talk gives some rest, but sometimes It helps if the child can work at a task with a parent.
Many times children turn to their cell phones as a way to escape problems. Asking a child not to use a phone may be like asking an adult to walk instead of driving a car. However, there should be limits on cell phone usage. Children should be given time limits as to how long they can be on the phone.
Just as adults need someone with whom to talk, so do children. Quite often, children will not ask questions thinking others may think they are dumb. It is a skillful parent who finds ways to uncover problems without the child feeling attacked for doing something wrong. Working together is a great way to accomplish that feeling. When it is done informally, the child does not feel as though s/he is being attacked for doing something wrong, but rather learns how to deal with problems.
Today’s world certainly presents many problems in raising children. I suspect that was said long ago as well! It is nice to know that God’s instructions never change. Love is the greatest answer to all!