“Do not be stiff-necked, as your ancestors were; submit to the Lord. Come to his sanctuary, which he has consecrated forever. Serve the Lord your God, so that his fierce anger will turn away from you.” – 2 Chronicles 30:8 (NIV)
We’ve all seen the “pouty face” of children when they didn’t get their way! Not a pretty sight! However, it may be an indication that someday they may be a leader. If we can turn their desires toward pleasing God, it may actually be a good thing!
According to those who study such things, there are four personality types. They are leader, fun-loving, “whatever”, and serious. Leaders can be either fun-loving or serious. The “whatever” people are those who want to get along and not “rock the boat”. Of course, we always want to put the Bible teachings first, but I find it helpful to consider the “findings” of others. That doesn’t mean we always have to go by what they say, but to consider their opinions can be helpful.
The leader type personality is the child who pouts when they can’t have their own way. They may get angry and throw temper tantrums. Parents often want to despair when confronted with this personality. However, if handled correctly, they may turn out to be very helpful, when they grow up, in reaching people. They won’t give in easily. They will often argue to convince others that they are correct and even get angry when they don’t get their way.
How do we handle such children? It is a good idea to give them leadership tasks with guidance. Talk to them before assigning the task to give suggestions. (I say suggestions because these children want to think that what they do is their own idea.) With all children, praise is good when done the right way. Children should not be praised when they do something wrong. Questions such as, “Have you considered ______?” or, “What could you do next time to improve the situation?”
Questions help children evaluate and improve. Most people, including children, do not like to be told they are wrong. Sometimes it is necessary to do so, but if we can find a way for them to figure it out for themselves, it will be more effective.
Good leaders must have determination. If we completely get that out of the lives of our children, we may be spoiling something that God can use for His benefit when they grow up. Of course, I am not saying to get rid of discipline. All children need discipline. How we do it is very important. Yes, most children, if not all, will need a spanking at some time or another, but if we can get them to see for themselves why something is wrong, the correct behavior will usually take care of itself
Being a good parent is a real challenge, but the reward can certainly make the effort worth it! Yes, many times the “stubborn” child may grow up to be a really good leader if parents use wisdom in working with them.