I can carry all those plastic bags. I’m sure of it. It required most of an entire cart to get them from the store to the car, but from the car to the house? My two skinny arms should work just fine, thanks. Those bags are going to leave marks across my hands and the backs of my skinny forearms, and those marks will last three days, but that’s fine. Because I will carry them. All. I can ignore the fact that my scrawny biceps are burning like a thousand suns because I’ve made it to the … [Read more...]
Defying gravity
A party? Yes! Friendly gathering? I’m in! Reception, celebration, shindig? Sign me up, I’m there, ya’ll. Social butterfly here, flying toward the party light. Except wait, how soon would I need to get up from the couch and get ready for this thing—and how ready would I need to get? I’ll need to know if this a yoga-pants-appropriate gathering. I confess I’m hoping real hard you’ll tell me I don’t have to change. With the pull of the comfy couch and the draw of the comfy yoga pants, it’s … [Read more...]
Hobbies, habits, happies
Who knew that would be the question that could stop me cold, mid-conversation? Like, freeze my brain. Those of you who know me know I can talk about anything. Not necessarily intelligently, mind you, but always all the talky. But at the moment a TV host asked me the simple question, “So what are some of your hobbies?” I had a surprising, painful big lot of nothing coming out of my mouth. After a couple of seconds of awkwardness, I finally joked it off with something like, “Heh heh, maybe … [Read more...]
Cut short? No thank you!
I did it. I knew I shouldn’t. But I did it anyway. I cut my own hair. Sigh. More than just trimming the bangs. I whacked off all kinds of rogue parts. Parts that are now much rougue-er than before. Every time I take the scissors into my own hands, I promise myself I’ll never do it again. That’s because I end up with stray strands and Spock bangs. And yet this is definitely no way to live long and prosper. When will I let this fully sink in? I am not good at cutting hair. When I try it, I’m … [Read more...]
Making space to know God better
That trash can, ya’ll. I’m sure I can do it. I’m always absolutely sure I can shove one more thing in there. It doesn’t matter that it’s already overflowing, or that I have to quick-catch some flyaway plastic wrap and wrangle an escaping tea bag resting on some soggy junk mail. I win if I can squeeze in one more thing. I guess the big question is: how many “one more things” can I shove in? My personal kitchen trash can is ever the clown car of wastebaskets. When it comes to squeezing in … [Read more...]
The preserve-driven life
Sneaky, squishy, sticky fruit. I’ve experienced it up close and personal-like. When I was raising my five kids, every once in a while, as we were rushing off to a soccer game or cheer practice or whatever, an apple or banana would arbitrarily get swooped into my bag. I’m not sure if I did it or if it was one of the kids, but I do think I might’ve once accidentally made fruit preserves. Fruit preserves, but not really preserved. I couldn’t even tell for sure what kind of fruit it had once … [Read more...]
New life, five stars, highly recommended
Always read the reviews. Unless you really want that thing. Do you ever find that special treasure online—the one you’ve been searching for so much longer than you want to admit? And you know, you know, you should read the customer reviews. But you’re also afraid those reviews will mess it all up for you. They’ll destroy your purchase joy. Do not give me bad news here, other consumers. Don’t we have to consider the possibility bad reviews could be coming from people who are just plain … [Read more...]
Uncontainable joy
Food storage containers are handy beasts. That’s why most of us have that one cabinet full of them. Open the cabinet door, release the little brutes, they tumble out in a beast party of happy-clattery plastic. They’re the best. But also sometimes they’re the worst. Because: nine containers. Fifty-two lids. And none of those lids fit any of the nine containers. You can try to force a near-fit if you want. But it’s a Cinderella shoe on a mean stepsister. Making do with a lid that’s too … [Read more...]
Gospel grace, layer on layer
I wonder how much time I waste deciding on an outfit. And then how much more time actually putting it on. Because let me tell you, it can be a morning-and-a-half project trying to snake my way into the sweater I should’ve gotten rid of year before last. When my kids were younger, my sons came up with a brilliant plan to cut down on the getting-dressed time-waste. They proposed putting on seven shirts on Monday. Tuesday morning, peel off the outer Monday shirt. Hello, Tuesday shirt. They … [Read more...]
He’s a good, good Father
My dad is a great dad. His jokes though? Well I’ve never traced this all the way back, but it’s quite possible he invented the dad joke. My dad has jokes on jokes on jokes—no joke. Not good jokes, mind you. Just jokes. Not even original jokes probably. Just…jokes. For the record, dad jokes are usually not as bad as uncle gags. The old “gotcher nose” or the infamous “What’s that behind your ear?” If you have an uncle in the category of “one of those,” hear me when I say, never ever pull his … [Read more...]
Knock-knock, He’s there
There’s a longstanding debate over which knock-knock joke is the best of all time. I would like to call it a knock-knock knock-down-drag-out, but I’m afraid you’d stop reading and I hate to lose readers in the first paragraph. We can’t argue that there are definitely knock-knock joke staples. I can give just a word or two of some of these and you hear the entire joke in your head. Like that yodelly one with “little old lady who.” Or how about “Boo who?” “You don’t have to cry about it, … [Read more...]
Looking to heaven, we can finish UP
Oh those days of feeling I’ve left too many to-do’s unfinished. Ever had those days? I had about 10 years’ worth in a row when my five children were little. I would get to the end of a day and think: Wait. Did I actually get anything done? Anything finished? Anything? Maybe it wasn’t so much that I hadn’t accomplished anything. Just not many/any of the genuine to-do’s on the list. When you have a bunch of babies in a short span of time, there are ever the little surprises in a day. Like … [Read more...]
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