Missouri Baptist’s son returns to lead role in film
FRANKLIN, Tenn. (BP) — MercyMe lead singer Bart Millard had been depressed a dozen years or so by 2017. In the studio with fellow musician Tim Timmons, Millard just lost it.
“I just snapped and had one of those days when it just all came out,” Millard told Baptist Press. “I was telling Tim, you wouldn’t even understand what I’m going through.”
Millard was a father who couldn’t heal his 15-year-old son Sam, diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 2 in 2004, a lifelong diagnosis. In the same year, Millard’s daughter Gracie was born six weeks premature. That was the year Millard’s brother-in-law Chris was killed in a car accident leaving the Millard home in tears after breaking up with his girlfriend and asking existential questions about life, and after Millard and his wife Shannon tried to convince him not to drive.
In the same year, Millard’s uncle Richard died. The same year his father-in-law Frank was diagnosed with a grapefruit-sized brain tumor. They said their goodbyes, but Frank survived.
“I said man, we’re not writing today,” Millard recalled. “And I left.”
All the while, Timmons had been playing the piano and kind of grinning. Millard admits having forgotten Timmons’ faithful struggle with cancer 25 years after doctors said he’d die in five.
On the way home, Timmons texted Millard. “Everything you were saying in there,” Timmons said, “I’ve been trying to write that song for five years.”
The impromptu release of Millard’s conscience spawned “Even If,” a MercyMe hit single nearing the ranks of their five-time platinum song “I Can Only Imagine,” that spurred the movie by the same name.
The true story behind “Even If” premieres in theaters as “I Can Only Imagine 2” from Lionsgate and Kingdom Story Company, with early access screenings variously Feb. 12, 14 and 19.
In the studio with Timmons, “everything came out,” Millard said.
“The struggle of being a professional Christian that stands on stage every night and people assume you have it all together. And, man, I would love to be Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the furnace saying I know that God will deliver us, but even if He doesn’t, I’m still going to worship Him,” Millard had said. “I would love for once to be that guy, because people think that I am, but I’m not. I’m not that guy.”
Millard’s tumultuous childhood at the hands of his abusive father Arthur was chronicled in I Can Only Imagine, showcasing the short years after his father accepted Christ and began to respond to his son with love. Millard was determined not to mirror his father’s representation of love with his son Sam, now in his mid-20s and performing under his first and middle names, Sam Wesley.
Millard had to learn that love was unconditional, he shares in the book releasing in February, “Even If: Trusting God Through the Fire,” he cowrote with his wife, including heartfelt prose by Sam.
“When I was growing up,” Millard told Baptist Press, “(I had) mostly an abusive relationship (with my father) up until he came to know Jesus right before he passed away. I think like any kid, I was desperate for unconditional love. No matter how many times my dad lost his temper, I was like most kids. I was like a puppy.
“I forgave him. Every time it would happen, I thought it was going to be different. And I always wanted his affection, his attention.”
Millard credits a loving grandmother, a loving church and friends, and later his wife Shannon. Learning that love is unconditional “meant everything” to Millard, he said. “I think part of my life was learning how to accept it.”
As a father, he said he learned to love his family anyway he possibly could.
“I think my grandmother was probably the largest female figure in my life, growing up,” he said. His mother had remarried and moved away, and he only saw her on holidays. “My grandmother was in my life every day, and she was one of the godliest women I’ve ever known. Between her and … the married couples in our youth group that were chaperones and youth leaders, I literally got (an example of love) from wherever I could.”
He married his junior high school sweetheart, Shannon, and was afraid he’d follow in his parents’ footsteps in divorce.
“When Shannon and I finally got married, I was more worried about it than most,” he said. “I certainly got a lot of things wrong and learned them the hard way. But I think the best advice I was given is if you’re worried about being a good husband or a good parent, you’re probably doing better than a lot, because a lot of people don’t worry about it at all, and don’t even think twice about it.”
In I Can Imagine 2, John Michael Finley returns as Millard, with Dennis Quaid portraying Millard’s father in flashback scenes. Finley grew up in Lebanon, Mo., where his father Wayne served for many years as pastor of administration at Heritage Baptist Church. His father is still a member at the Lebanon church. (Read more about Finley’s story here.) Dell joins the cast as Sam, Milo Ventimiglia as Timmons, and Sophie Skelton as Millard’s wife Shannon.
Movie resources include a seven-day devotional, outreach opportunities and discussion questions reflecting on the movie, all complimentary and downloadable here; as well as books for purchase, “Even If: Trusting God Through the Fire” by Bart and Shannon Millard; “Waking Up Again: A Journey of Grief Gratitude,” chronicling Tim Timmons’ journey with cancer, by Timmons with his wife Hilary; and the movie edition of “The Origin of Hymns: It is Well With My Soul”, by Robert Morgan, pastor of the interdenominational World Outreach Church in Murfreesboro, Tenn.
Buy tickets here, and access group sales here ticket sales here.