Following Christ is somewhat like remodeling a home. As we mature in our relationship with our Master we move from a bassinet to a crib to a twin bed and eventually a double or queen size bed. We move from a high chair to a full size chair at the table. And the swing set in the backyard is replaced with a deck and propane grill. But if we switch our furniture and maybe even change a few walls or replace windows, but neglect the foundation, we will soon find our home in a shambles. The Psalmist warns us, “If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” (Psalm 11.3).
The wicked bend the bow, they make ready their arrow upon the string to shoot in darkness at the upright in heart. (Psalm 11:2). It is easy to see the way the wicked have been aiming at and seeking to destroy the upright for many years. And sadly, many of the upright have fallen.
But what can the righteous do? The Scriptures teach us in several places (Luke 17.3, Acts 20.28, II Peter 3.17, et al) to be on guard. We are to be on guard against false teaching, against unprincipled men, and against sin in general. We are to also be on guard against our own apathy and distractions. There is, of course, that well known metaphor of the full armor of God….and having done all, to stand firm.
St. Valentine stood firm. Way back in the 3rd century, Roman Emperor Claudius II banned young men from getting married. He thought that unmarried men made better soldiers since they had fewer “attachments” and affections. In defiance to the Emperor, Valentine conducted weddings in secret. He placed the divine design and biblical instruction above civil law. This is something we should do in all matters of life, but let’s stick to love and marriage for now… and remember that marriage was established by God Himself long before Valentine.
But we also live in a culture where marriage has been devalued. Many people live together in fornication and adultery rather than in holy matrimony. Even within churches there are people who have rejected God’s good design for families and have instead adopted the lie that “shacking up” is better emotionally, financially, and in other ways. On way too many occasions those who do get married break their vows through divorce, attempting to justify their covenant breaking through some twisted human reasoning.
About half of all kids are now growing up in a broken home. Compared to kids who are married, these kids are 4 times more likely to live in poverty, are twice as likely to drop out of school, are twice as likely to commit suicide, and also twice as likely to commit crime.
Perhaps you or someone you know has a marriage spanning five or more decades … If so, let me know. The Missouri Baptist Convention’s Christian Life Commission is wanting to emphasize the value of long marriages and may be able to use your story.
Also, it is time for our churches to prioritize biblical marriage again. After all, marriage is the foundation of the family, and families are the foundation of any society. A petition has been filed in the Secretary of State’s Office that would change the definition of marriage in the Missouri Constitution from being “between one man and one woman” to being between “two consenting adults”. Obviously this change is contrary to Scripture and needs to be rejected. The petition would have to gain signatures from Missourians like other initiative petitions, but before that even is allowed there is a period for public comment. If you would like to comment on this proposed change you may do so here: https://www.sos.mo.gov/elections/comments/default?pet=2026-018
There are other ways in which marriages are under attack in our day – both culturally and legally. It is time for the Church to be on guard against the apathy of family breakdown, of devaluing the sanctity of marriage. It is time to remember that “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).
If you would like some help restoring the foundations, and being on guard against those who would destroy marriage, plan on attending a roundtable event at in Jefferson City on March 25. Details are in the graphic below.
Finally, love your spouse through it all . .. . Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth (Malachi 2:15). And if you are living with someone “pretending” to be married, get right with them and with God and get married, or get out of the house.
