It has been said the best time to plant a tree was a generation ago. The second-best time is now. Nobody really likes to think about getting old. However, putting off the conversation is simply delaying a talk that needs to take place. The frustrations and fears associated with aging are not easy to discuss. A study reported by Home Instead Senior Care Network identified the top 10 aging concerns of those 55 and older. Those respondents shared the following anxieties:
• Aging Fear #1: Losing Independence
• Aging Fear #2: Deteriorating Health
• Aging Fear #3: Not Having Enough Money
• Aging Fear #4: Being Unable to Live at Home
• Aging Fear #5: Death of Loved Ones
• Aging Fear #6: Losing Ability to Manage Tasks of Daily Living
• Aging Fear #7: Not Being Able to Drive
• Aging Fear #8: Feeling Lonely or Isolated
• Aging Fear #9: Being Cared for by Strangers
• Aging Fear #10: Falling or Getting Injured
The church is well-positioned to address several of these fears. In fact, this list provides a great starting point when assessing how the church can best serve elderly members. Providing fellowship, basic transportation and helping to ensure the home is safe are all within the ability of most congregations. Having an intentional plan to minister to the elderly greatly increases the likelihood that seniors can stay at home for as long as possible. Churches can help by having qualified members install mobility aids (grab bars by the shower, tub and toilet), adding or reinforcing handrails near steps or stairs and increasing lighting by installing higher “wattage equivalent” LED bulbs.
Over a career that has included nursing, church planting, several pastorates and denominational service, I have assisted several families in navigating the question of caring for an elderly family member. The conversation usually starts with a church or family member saying something along the lines of, “My loved one needs more help than we can provide. What should we do?” Of course, we should pray! But what else? The U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention suggests the following steps be taken.
1. Discuss with loved one. Talk about seeing a medical provider about the observed changes soon. Talk about the issue of driving and always carrying an ID.
2. Medical assessment. Be with a provider that you are comfortable with. Ask about the Medicare Annual Wellness exam.
3. Family Meeting. Start planning, and gather documents like the Health Care Directive, Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, Estate Plan.
The advice offered by Baptist Home-Chillicothe Campus Pastor Steve Moseley during a recent podcast episode of Biblical Perspectives on Aging was, “Make that decision before it makes you!” Once a fall, accident or life-changing medical condition arises the opportunity to discuss family wishes, consult first with one’s primary care physician and engage in an abundance of prayer are severely limited. Whether this conversation is churchwide, in a small group or one-on-one with a loved one, understanding how best to serve and care for our elderly members is a discussion worth having now.