ST. LOUIS — “You’ve heard the stories and you know the punch lines, but you laugh every time you hear him,” said one messenger as they awaited humorist Dennis Swanberg, who spoke at the closing session of the 178th annual meeting of the Missouri Baptist Convention (MBC) at the Millennium Hotel.
Swanberg, 59, calls himself “America’s Minister of Encouragement.” With his down-home charm and ADD personality, “The Swan” won the hearts of the MBC messengers.
Conventioners nodded their heads and slapped their thighs laughing as he told funny stories about church life and impersonated preachers, politicians and celebrities.
Assuming the rich, southern tones of Billy Graham, he mimicked, “The other night, I was praying to the Lord, and I said, ‘Lord I’ve preached all over the world and I’ve dealt with a lot of people in my lifetime. And there have been some characters that I have run into on many occasions. But, Lord, tonight I want to ask you about that Dennis Swanberg. He’s been imitating me for a long time. It seems like forever … and ever. And I want to know, will Swanny go to Heaven? Will he be there for ever and ever … and ever (I like to say ever)? And the Lord said to me, ‘He’s gonna make it. He will be there in Heaven.’ And I said, ‘Why?’ And He told me ‘Swanberg has never reached the age of accountability.’”
He mocked Jimmy Stewart (he calls him “Jammy Stewart”). Stuttering just a little he said “Jammy … uh Stewart was one of his … uh, favorite actors. He said Stewart was always “just Jammy.”
Assuming Bill Clinton’s voice, he joked if Clinton had met Sarah Palin in college he might have become a Republican instead. Continuing the political theme, he mimicked Ronald Reagan and Ross Perot. He joked Ross Perot sent Boxer Evander Holyfied a telegram after Mike Tyson bit his ear off in a match. Perot said, “I’m Ross Perot and I’m all ears if I can help you.”
Swanberg said Muhammad Ali sat beside him on a plane. He did a Howard Cosell and Ali impersonation and the boxing giant leaned over and said, “You good.”
He said growing up in Austin, Texas, he was always in church. He acted up a lot, and that got him in a lot of trouble. He was a pastor for many years, but in 1994 resigned to go into full-time speaking using his natural gift of humor.
Swanberg is well known for his impersonation of Don Knotts as he replies back to the preacher who says repeatedly in a sermon “What shall we do with sin? … What shall we do with sin?” Finally able to contain himself no more, Swanberg jumps up and in his best Don Knotts voice cries out “Nip it. Nip it in the bud!” Many Baptists have heard these stories before, but they laugh every time.
The tone turned a little more serious as Swanberg told stories about his beloved momma, Pauline Bernadine, and daddy, Floyd Leon. Floyd Swanberg had just passed on to heaven four days earlier in Austin, Texas.
The Pathway interviewed Swanberg and asked what his favorite bit was.
He said he loves to tell the story of Floyd Leon late in his life, getting ready to sign over legal and financial rights to Swanberg because he was starting to have memory problems. The attorney asked him if he had any questions before he signed the papers.
Floyd Leon cleared his throat and said, “Can I still write out my tithe check every week?”
Assured he could, he said, “Well, that’s all I need to know. Where do I sign?”
Swanberg tearfully told the audience that just before Floyd Leon died the family gathered there thought there might be a moment of lucid memory. He asked his daddy if he had any words he would like to say. He quoted Prov. 3:6: “In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” With tears, Swanberg said those were the last words he heard his daddy say.
He read Josh. 1:9, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or be discouraged …” Swanberg encouraged the young Joshuas in the crowd “Just as God was with Floyd Leon, may He be with you.”
Swanberg added, “Some of you are saying, ‘I wish I could do impersonations. I wish I could be funny.’ No you don’t. You need to go on doing what you are doing. Don’t try to squirm out of your troubles or squirm out of the pastorate. Stay where you are and fight the good fight. There are so many times I wish I could trade places with you (pastors). But He moved me on out. I’m going to try to be funny. Someday He will say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.’”