I’ve pretty much always been a girlie-girl. When I was little, while the other kids were singing, “Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes,” I was singing something more like, “Head, new hairdo, purse and shoes, purse and shoes.” Froo-froo is part of my make-up. Even my makeup is part of my make-up. I was in a hurry and ran out of the house without eyeliner the other day. People are definitely not used to seeing me liner-less, but even I underestimated their consternation. All … [Read more...]
At the End of Your Rope? Grace!
Backwards. I do remember sighing in the days of raising my five kids as I realized I put the baby’s shirt on backwards. Then I’d look at the toddler to find I also put his shirt on backwards. What are the odds? Really. Because somewhere in there it would also dawn on me that I had also put my shirt on backwards. Most of the time when I had all those babies, I never knew if we were coming or going. My dad and his four siblings tell stories of their comings and goings that make me feel … [Read more...]
Swinging between pride, humility
I don’t think I’m all that vain but I do think this song is probably about me. I mean really, what if the song actually is about me? A lot of people think I’m completely self-absorbed, but I have to tell you, I’m pretty sure I can absorb even more of me. So, not completely absorbed. Not yet. Whenever I’m struggling with some sort of pride issue, though, I figure a good way to turn things around is to get into a hammock. Just try to hang on to any shred of smugness as you’re writhing … [Read more...]
Rhonda Rhea: I’ve got some feelings
What if all our deleted selfies are actually saved up somewhere? It’s a horrifying thought. I took a selfie the other day that somehow looked like I was photobombing my own picture. Is that even a thing that can happen? Either way, I’m feeling a little uneasy thinking about where old selfies go to die. I actually started down this line of thinking when someone took a surprise photo of me and it looked disturbingly like one of those proof-of-life photos a kidnapper would send. I was even … [Read more...]
Superabundantly more
Oh that moment. That moment of extreme delight when the waiter brings out a spectacular tray covered with every dream dessert. Be still, my heart. Of course, for me, right after that moment of delight comes the next moment of complete despair when I realize the guy expects me to only take one. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I love cake pops. They’re tiny. So that means you can eat a whole tray of them. I also love cake pops because: Cake. On a stick. … And apparently I now think even … [Read more...]
In step – two, three, four – with Jesus
I’m not one to dance like nobody’s watching. Mostly because I don’t want to watch it either. But I do sing loud. And big. Sometimes with motions. So while I might not necessarily dance like no one is watching, I have been known to sing like I’m vacuuming. A couple of months ago, I did accidentally bust a few new moves, but it was because a bug flew into my hair. That was some sweet choreography. Embarrassing, sure. I didn’t even know I had those moves. A couple of my kids saw it, as a … [Read more...]
As far as accountability is concerned
I was scrubbing furiously, trying to get the hot fudge stain out of my fave workout shirt. And then…the revelation. It was like, “Oh hello, irony. For a minute I didn’t see you there.” Not that the new diet isn’t going well or anything. Because I don’t think it actually counts as eating badly if you only ate your husband’s dessert because you forgot you already ate yours. Doesn’t count. Because, “forgot.” It’s not that I haven’t tapped into all the diet helps presently out there. But I … [Read more...]
Go to your happy place
I hate it when I’ve been cleaning the house all day long and then realize it’s only been fifteen minutes. I’ll admit, cleaning is not my happy place. Of course, I had five kids in seven years and “clean” has always been a bit...well…relative. Mostly because it would somewhat depend on which relative was doing the cleaning. Not that we allowed food in the kids’ rooms or anything [clearing throat], but I do remember having to say to a teen at least once, “Son. You have to clean your room. … [Read more...]
‘Taste and see the Lord is good’
I was more than a little worried that my new diet was going to be altogether too difficult. Oh, these meal plans. The first day went something like this: Meal one: 6 organic, conflict-free cashews and a teaspoon of orange peel, zested Meal two: 3 almonds, 4 banana strings and 2 medium-sized ice cubes For meal three, the instructions were to lick three carrots, read the label on a box of rice cakes and then stare long and hard at those jeans that once fit. A little harsh, right? Is … [Read more...]
‘Presence, not presents’
Ah, Christmas shopping. When you can find yourself completely enveloped in the smell of evergreen. And sometimes pepper spray. When my five kids were little, I remember sometimes feeling my children thought my Christmas list was some sort of magic lamp. Make a wish, rub my list and POOF! It was under the tree. I might even remember one of them wishing for three more wishes. Every year I would resolve not to be manipulated. I would be very determined…as I wrote all their “wishes” down on … [Read more...]
Less hashtaggery, more Spirit-connectivity
One of the funniest things on the planet was when I used to say something super Internetty-savvy and ultra-cool to my then teenage kids. I’d be all hashtaggy and super-swaggy until they would cancel all their social media accounts and pack their bags like they were moving in with the neighbors. The techy-like conversations still happen these days but they’re kind of different. I was talking to a teenager the other day and told her we used to have to take our pictures on cameras that … [Read more...]
Listening, Seeking & Resting: Verti-coming and Verti-going
Have you ever had one of those world-tipping inner ear things? It’s about the worst kind of imbalance. It started small when it happened to me. My body kept trying to lean to one side. I felt like any minute somebody might come up behind me and try to stick a couple of sugar packets under my left foot. Then, as inner-ear malfunctions are wont to do, the thing accelerated and suddenly the world was very…how can I describe it? Very “Star Ship Enterprise.” The kind of Enterprise where some … [Read more...]
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